Dividing Self and Group

Tradition 1 states :
Our common welfare should come first;
personal recovery depends upon OA unity.

Placing the group welfare
above our own welfare,
I think not. That is what
can be suggested from this step.
When we are newbies in the program,
depending on the program is fine,
but at some point,
we need to be able to stand
without the group effect of the program.
But as long as you need it,
fine, live tradition one.

We need to develop a full life,
not a different dependence.
At some point many of us make a decision;
life in the fellowship vs life outside,
all the while practicing what we have learned.

At that point we are no longer dependent
on the program, we have a fully developed
belief system to depend on.

But that was the point of view
at the time of writing,
that OA was the only way,
but it is not, now.
OA is a good way to offer
to teach others, to spread our
message, even when our message
exceeds what OA has to offer.

OA may need to get current
with the research or it will die out,
or become one more alternative method
in total recovery system.

My loyalty lies with me, not the group.

Conjecture - Control Freaks

Conjecture - Control Freaks

How do control freaks develop and how does one live with one?

It is conjecture that control freaks have a feeling of inadequacy, and are looking for another person, place or thing to complete them. They may believe that if someone will just do whatever, then I can be happy, complete, and life will be good.

Well that just ain't gonna happen, bucko.

These type of persons do not operate from a place of being in the now, a authentic human, but from ego in future time, psychological time. This ego self likely developed as a result of seeing self as the collective super-ego (CSE's) placed on them by others, and as a defense method  of achieving self satisfaction.

The solution is to realize that ego is part of the thinking mind; developed from trying to satisfy that CSE's of others: parents, teachers, employers, and self, just trying to be more. Super ego is just what you would like to be in the future.

How do we deal with ourselves if we have this issue? Well accept that we have this problem, give up, and examine the ego. The ego is impersonal, it has noting to do with us. It is response to the CSE's of others who have or had authority over us  in the past, and is not part of the authentic self. It is a self defense devise of the mind that builds to protect us until we grow up. We can as adults, step aside and let those CSE's go past and let go of out own egos.

The ego is impermanent,  and is just another concept, an idea, that we can change or let go of completely. We can then return to a state of being, of space for ideas and concepts, for action in the now, the authentic self, the life or spirit have a human experience.

Control freaks can be seen as just another CSE who would like something. We can say no, and expect a backlash. We can just step back and let them go. We can try to lead by example. Pain is changeful. Let them flail, and perhaps they will become conscious.

Go with Being. This too shall pass.