I'm back, going to the dark side

Holidays, or hollow daze, one of the two. Too many km, too much relatives, too much food, not enough rest, and I read a bit more of the Stoics and Smart authors.

OA is going by the wayside, and I am starting to understand the disease, which is likely hypersensitivity to some self produced chemical, dopamine, serotonin, endorphin, or some opioid peptide. We look at food, the chemical starts to flow, temptation and craving starts, and we are on the way. Or perhaps we eat a food that causes the chemical to flow or supplies a bit of it; either way, we are into resisting the chemical drive, which is natural result of a chemical in our brains, and, in our case, produces a desire to eat. Smart talk of increased resistance to impulses. Now the Stoics tell us how to reduce the desire many different ways, as does SMART. OA offers one method only and for we not-thesis, it is a stretch. 

Motivation is normally levered off a values, and there are stronger value than faith to use, especially if we think gods are man made concepts that explain the unknowns of the time. 

OA does offer support, and a extended social network, but that is one of about a dozen human needs. Oh well. I am grateful to OA for getting me this far, but perhaps it is time to look for actually recovery, rather than just management of the problem. SMART offers this promise, but can it deliver. I owe myself a shot at it. That is not to say that I am abandoning OA entirely, but rather using it to provide my extended social need.   

Am I eating or using?

Those of us who have a "food addiction" need to know am I eating a meal or am I using?

I have decided, after all to use or not use is a decision, that I will consider anything beyond my eggs, bacon, and potato for breakfast, greens and protein lunch, greens, veg and protein evening meal to be using. This is a totally arbitrary choice, but using is easier to identify than OA's undefined waffling abstinence.

This allows a simple question with a yes or no answer. Am I eating or using?

added later; the effect of some foods and liking the food is the same: aka, addictive:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/food-junkie/201302/living-eat

some thing are up to us and some things are not

Epectetius say something like: some thing are up to us and some things are not. Further, he goes on to say that our conceptions, opinions, desires (want), and aversions, are in our control, and others suggest that our ability to reason, agree with reason, reject the reason, in other words, our power of choice is within our control.

Now where am I going with this? Well, we have the power of choice, so we can choose to use or not. That is within my power. When you pray for potatoes, we need to be ready and pick up the hoe as required. That is the choice we have use or not is up to us, within our power. Nothing says we need to like it, just do it or not.

Now we can use reason with a cost benefit analysis, as many time each day as we need to to convince ourselves that we have choice, and what is the right thing to do. We can lever off our values, but first we need to know what our values are. I will suggest that our values start by knowing how to separate the things are up to us from the things are not up to us, reason and the power of choice in our minute to minute decisions.

I am Fred, and I have a behavioural addiction condition or persistent habit. Today I chose to not use, and live in recovery.