As I go through life, relationships have always been difficult. Now I know the cause. Relationships are all about learning to tolerate and fain interest in noise. It is about tolerating high noise to signal ratios, 100% noise, most of the time. In relationships, signal is "that which I am interested in", and noise is all else.
Having delved into Buddhism and Stoicism, my interest do not include sports, political beyond those that effect me, and the like. Life becomes limited to that which I consider important.
I am not tribal, unlike jews, black, natives, and the like. That characteristic is the major cause of so much difficulty. I believe in working... in some form... and little else. Everything must have practical value, else it is up to someone else. My priorities are physological survival, saftey, knowledge-utility- esteem, self-actualization, love belonging. Note the difference with Maslow... I am low social need person.
Now when it comes to change, and levering off my values, social pressure is not as effective as for some. Survival is the best to lever off. But in the change cycle-cognition, preparation, action portion, we can only change the things we have control over, and then only if we want them to change. We cannot, long term, overcome cravings, hunger, insulin resistance hunger-cravings, or the like. Note that I have cravings in there twice. I can separate two types of undifferentiated cravings, and each seems to have separate type of treatment. One is the result of too much, an addiction type craving, and the other is too little, a deficiency type craving. Both are ugly, but the deficiency craving is most difficult, I do not know what I am deficient in... inositol... leptin... some mineral, vitamin... We can only change that which is up to us.
With respect to food, we can change the quality, quantity, and frequency of consumption, of the available choices. That is all, and then we must make a decision what to change, and how, without triggering a craving. There in lies the difficulty. What fun.
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