Step 2

Step 2 was and is a massive change in attitude for me.  OK. Came to believe.

I was raised in the church, but I looked around and saw the congregation was not living by the teachings. OK, so now what. I mouthed the words, without belief, grew up, moved away, and ignored the whole situation until I got to this program.

There is one line in the big book, 3ed, pg.12, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"  That made sense. God is a concept. That is all. Any concept will work. That tied in with what I knew to be true, it is all in out heads. Our belief and value system puts limits on our actions. Carnegie called it our noble motives.  But that still left me guestioning.

I studied religion, and read The Variety of Religious Experiences by William James, with a dictionary in hand. It is a tough read. I have read simpler textbooks of tough subjects that were much easier to read. James is a pompous, sadistic  professor, out to make his students struggle. I read Huston Smith, and all the old AA books.

I studied a bit about Buddhism. Part of that was logical, part the fellow must have been on acid or smoking the Mary Jane or something.

In the end, Buddhism can be reduces to 1. there is much suffering in the world, 2. what we feel is in us, the correction can come by changing our reaction to the world,  it is due to our delusions, (Ideas of what the world should be), our attachments, and our aversions, 3. there is a solution, and 4 that solution is by living life by examining our past life and our intentions, future life in eight areas.   Having the right View, Intention, Speech, Actions, Livelihood, Effort, Mindfulness, and Concentration. A long summary can be found at http://www.thebigview.com/buddhism/ When I looked at this and the twelve steps, the AA steps fit inside of this belief system. It is all about cleaning up the wreckage of the past, cleaning up relationships, and living an clean and tidy life. Some relationships are simple abandoned, others grown. We live life by a new set of rules. We have a purpose and meaning in our lives.

After we have decided what we believe, we can move on...We can move on once we become willing to look at our life... We can decide to look, that is all that is required to carry on.

We have, as adults, a good understanding of what is right and what is not. Life to this point has been our first effort, our first time through, we cannot be expected to be right all the time. Somethings we were right on, some less so, but with reflection we will see what did not work. The program provides a place to generate new ideas, and see what has worked for others. Now we can test it for ourselves.

Please share in as comments below your strength, hope and experience in respect to step 2.