Negative Upraising

I just realized how negative my uprising actually was. I use uprising as a twisted growing up, mostly without effective parental input, beyond forcing me to work, as I remember it, all the time. I was raised on a farm, where there was a surplus of work, made worse with inefficient work methods, and a cheap - post depression era- parental philosophy.

The religion was so negative. You all are born sinners. 10 commandments... Thou shalt not... 7 deadly sins, Pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, sloth. We worked while the fat priest begged for money, drank heavenly, caroused with a married women. My parents always seemed stressed over something, they were often anger over something, and the disputes over something... months of silence... the isolation... no one but extended family came around... It was just a negative environment to grow up in. We had nothing to be proud of, to tired to lust, and were trained to want money and things. The only excess was food, which I willing consumed. If anyone was eating, there were left alone to eat. We were encouraged by mother to eat, and I grew grossly fat.

There was much good tasting food, wheat based, and sugars, with what ever fats, butter, were required to make it taste good. Southern fried chicken, and wild meat, a pig in the spring and a beef in the fall, Some winters Spam, headcheese, canned chicken, and fish, usually seconds.

I have many negative real and likely implied memories, hence many negative imprinted reactions. Over the years I have let go of many with the help of John Powell`s Misconception theory, but some remain, and likely many more that I am not even aware of yet.

There was no instruction as to what one should be involved in to develop a good attitude. There was just negative shit. I never was encouraged to do anything beyond work, in fact, it was discouraged, devalued, condemned. The best thing I ever did was leave.

The good characteristics, like compassion for self and others was beat out of me, I was taught to be hard on myself and expect brutal amount of physical strength, endurance, and the like from myself, and similar from others. It did not happen, but that was my expectations. Compassion for others and myself is essential, as are the many other positive attitudes; sympathetic joy, equanimity, serenity, inner peace, discerning, perseverance, attentiveness, gratitude, commitment, acceptance, support, authenticity, faith in ones self.

No wonder that I developed a negative outlook. Now, through understanding implied memory and imprint reactions, I can carry on further in overcoming and repairing the damage of automated imprinted reactions.