Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Fear vs Lack of trust

Lecture warning, or rant warning.

Fear is not identical to lack of trust, although I stated it was equivalent the other day. On the first blush, I was thinking these were similar enough to be considered equivalent.

Fear is an internal emotion. It is there to keep us out of trouble. It prevents some actions which are imprinted on our mind to not be good for what ever reason. Fears can be changes, unlearned, or modified. They can also be increased. The trick is separation of situations, and using trust in our ability. Trust that which has been demonstrated to be trust worthy, but always trust yourself. Fear is for safety. You may need to test it first. 

Lack of trust is externally generated and may raise internal fear but not necessarily. Lack of trust may be due history with that individual, institution, or similar. It may be well founded. Not trusting strangers has been drilled into children for years. Do not expect to trust them as adults. We may need to overcome the lack of trust with portions of our lives to overcome this serious eating disorder.

We do need to trust ourselves. We need to trust enough to do what we require to do for recovery. We do not need to trust everybody, and should trust that the people will continue doing what they have always done. The gossiper will continue to gossip. The lieer will continue to lie. The thief will continue to steal. That is trust. Discernment is the key.

Fear is on a continuum with trust, but there is space in between. No trust is not necessarily fear, for we can trust them to be what we know them to be. We need to trust ourselves.

The other though running about in my head is that abstinence is like fidelity, it is easier when there are not opportunities. Bare cupboards make abstinence easier.

No comments: