Friday, April 12, 2013
Understanding the real problem
I was watching The Mindy Project the other night. There was a scene of a sharing circle at a rehab. Sitting in the circle are addicts of various addictions. One guy is dominating the conversation, lamenting how people are claiming an addiction to things that he thinks are bogus. Argues that drug and alcohol addiction are real but women thinking they are addicted to needing validation from men is bogus, guy addicted to body-building - bogus, guy addicted to sex -bogus, woman addicted to relationships - bogus, etc. He tells each person they should be ashamed of themselves for trying to pass through life with bogus addictions. . . then he comes to a very overweight woman in the circle and says to her "except for you ma'am. Overeating is a legitimate addiction. Food is a drug." The woman looks up from her knitting and says "I'm addicted to buying little figurines."
The example above shows much of the real problem, we do not know what it is, and we do no what is normal. There should be a method of looking at individual characteristics of ourselves, and evaluating these, one at a time to see which one of our characteristics is out of kilter with the "norm", and I use that as a statistical norm, no to be confused with "common".
Avoidance is a characteristic that is often confused with procrastination, reluctance to do something, or the like of non performance. But is that the root characteristic? Avoiding people, places and things may be a survival strategy. As an obese child and person, I avoided unnecessary contact with people, to avoid harassment, and abuse. That carried over into adulthood. It may have been a learned skill, being alone, but it was also useful, for I worked as a individual. It was easier to be alone that to associate with ignorant abusive people. It still is, but it is habit, and possibly, my abrasive personality.
Oh well, shit happens. What do I know.