I am taking a brake from F2F meetings. I found the last one I was at to be "disturbing and dangerous". Too much man hatred in the room. I felt in danger, and decided that the program may be attracting the crazy ladies that need substantial help, and I do not need that in my life today. That forced me to re-evaluate what the program offers.
I have struggled long to become a rational person with generally
rational behaviors, within that I can physically do, and I think
now that becoming even more rational is the key to recovery. "Do
nothing, not even eat, without a rational purpose." Continuing to
go to meeting habitually, where I am the most recovered person and
in need of more recovery, is just not productive, especially where
a group developed and some of the people are negative, highly emotional and
The meetings provide an "extended social network of like minded
people"; however, I am also drifting from that like minded concept
to a more detailed concrete concept of reality and have never been
better than today.
Also the understanding of this disease or overeating behavior has
extended far beyond what it was when the AA program was adapted,
and far beyond what is talked about in the program. The program,
for me, may have reached the point of being counterproductive for my
continued development of overcoming this overeating behavior. So for
this while I have been exploring alternate methods of changing
overeating behaviors, the causes and corrections. It has been an eye
opening process, and I have seen considerable change in myself.
I fear the program is also distracting the primarily highly rational
people from finding the cure, but does provide a disease based model for
treatment for the primarily emotional, subconscious, and low rational
based people. The program does not cure the behavior, rather manages the
"disease". It is the cure of the behavior that I now seek to correct,
and believe I have found the cause and cure of this overeating behavior.
Again thank you for your concern. If I can offer you any help with your recovery, please advise.