Monday, December 28, 2015

What Now?

What is the name of that what now lost feeling?

That feeling on completion of a phase of life, or some all consuming issue, when the next step or action is not apparent?

It is not indecision but similar. For the feeling to be indecision,we would need alternatives beyond the ever present do nothing alternative.

I suffered from that during writing of some engineering forensic reports. Typical case would be a house that had undergone settlements due to drying and shrinking of foundation soils. The City does some utility repair work and a bit of vibration occurs, perhaps the cracks extend or some new cracks show up. The home owner suits the city for all the damages including settlements. So how does one separate the damage or the cost of repair? Without the house being leveled, repair is a waste, while the cost of settlement repair is the owners own liability. Anyway, that what now feeling?

Similar feeling arises often when I do not want to do something that is obviously the next step, but I do not want to do it. It can be handled as grouping this as a "stress", but that does not point to a solution. It is the most uncomfortable feeling.

As a retired person, who did not want to do the available work any more, dealing with that stress has become necessary. Normally for such a decision, the decision method is to generate some alternatives, evaluate the alternatives as best one can, set up some criteria and the decision may be obvious. The issue that I have is generating any alternative that I am remotely able or interested in looking at. I just do not want to do it. It is that simple.

In one of the videos I watched this weekend, that feeling was mentioned as being one of the worst feelings which I agree, yet I cannot put a word to it. Just do it does not help.

I miss the social benefits of OA "after meeting meetings" but not the useless meetings. It was those that helped much more than anything else. I have tried to describe what those gathering provided previously.

But what do I know?


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