Was my overeating intentional? It certainly became automatic, like most other skills learned in childhood. Modern child studies indicate that much of our personality and automatic behaviors have formed by the age of seven. So how much of those trained in and genetic characteristics can be change in life, and do we automatically revert to those behaviors as soon as the effort to change is relaxed. It certainly seems so. That would explain why it is so difficult to maintain weight loss; the behaviors that lead to weight loss must be maintained indefinitely to maintain the weight loss. As our metabolism slows, the amount of food consumed much also decline to match the slowed metabolism. So it is a never ending battle to eat less, as this natural drive to eat must be crushed, and any encoded behaviors must also be crushed.
So why would I have developed the over driven desire to eat? The usual suspects, stress, discomfort, emotional issues, personality issues, behavior issues, crap environment, free-range food rich environment, isolation from other male children except for a few hours per week, ignored by the adults, who knows? Well somehow I may have gotten the idea that eating more food and growing up would be a good thing, and I was off to the races. Is this a common issue among the obese youth today? Seems so visually, and by example, but that is just anecdote. Anecdotal evidence is a derogatory term used to put down examples. So science just says no, there is no study to prove it, so we will not look or try to help. So I will call Pigshit and walk away.
We overeaters are a self selecting bunch who do not know why we overeat, are unable to correct the behavior, or want to overeat. What other choices are there? So if I want to overeat for the benefits of overeating, what ever those may be, but do not want the obesity, I am caught between a rock and a hard place with no logical solution.The only available solution is to stop eating and learn to deal with the drive to eat, which does not lessen, and does not go away. All those that say it will become habit are full of it; the drive to overeat is stronger than it ever has been in the past, and I am losing the battle.
Understanding that at one time I may have made a conscious decision to overeat has not made it easier or provide a obvious path to removal of the urge to eat/overeat. It remains entrenched. I expect it is as entrenched as the sexual desires are. This is to suggest that these are natural survival instincts that have gone overboard for what ever reasons. Some of it may be our environment contamination and trace chemical sensitivities. That is the physiological. Some of it is likely psychological, and some is philosophical, our belief system. Investing time in development of our belief system may be the push that helps some OA people. To bad their chosen belief system is just wrong, otherwise it could provide some help. There is no point in debating with those who will not understand real legal evidence concept to as applied to science.
So what have I concluded from all this failing? That there is a chance that my overeating problem started as a conscious decision to eat/overeat, for a possible desire to grow big and strong. It became encoded, and that lead to a screwed up survival instinct. The only solution is still to stop overeating, to remain unsatisfied, and craving and or hungry with an unsatisfied survival instinct. Oh well, in the end we all just die.