Sunday, January 29, 2017

The two sides of Codependency

"The codependent feels the need to solve another’s problems. The codependent believes that help is needed and that the person in need cannot manage to make the right decisions or take the right actions to solve his or her own problems. Without the codependent’s input, disaster for the other person is assured."

This is the feeling that 'I have the solution to your expressed problem in my pocket'. and you do not want the solution, you only want to whine.

So is the solution, when I see someone struggling with something simple, should I try to teach a simple solution, or just shrug my shoulders and walk away? That is what the definition and recovery connection seems to suggest. Is that how the ideal person should act? So I am free to not explain the details, I am free, I am free!!!

But the other definition: excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction. --- All I was trying to do was help an inept person through a tough problem and I am the bad guy. Screw it, you are on your own.

But what about all those who depend on the kindness of strangers? those who are truly dependent? And those who have been blinded with religion, or the lack of education, or resistance to education? Too bad, to "help" would feed my co-dependence.

Also not that there are those people who can never be happy regardless of there situation. What do we do if we find ourselves working and/or living with them? 

 Religions are a dependency on a god concept. It is a belief in the concept is going to "save" you. Well good for you. But that is not reality, there is no god, no salvation, and nothing to be saved from. Death comes to all of us, delaying is the best we can do. Look into the abyss of reality and accept our fate.

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