What exactly is a change in life style, and how does one bring that about for one's self, in a lasting and meaningful way?
So there is some element of life our style that we need to change, and replace it with something different. Removal of part of our life requires replacement, something removed leaves a unfulfilled void of time, space, desire, impulse, energy, or was there just too much to start with.
Three moderate meals each day frees time and uses time differently. Net change, small. But I was using eating as something to break up torpor - or boredom or disinterest or something to do... due to lack of interest in many things. Why the disinterest? That is a self protection method of growing up without, if I had anything, it was taken away and given to others or used. It was a form of abuse. It is easy to not care, not want, not desire, and disappear into my own head, into a world of unreal thoughts, a fancy work where I did not need to deal with doing the things I did not like, that gave me no satisfaction, and caused pain, distress, frustration, and the like.
What is within my control? Choice, Epictetus says, but then enters reality. Somethings just need to be done. We can do what must be done willingly or with resistance.
Isolation is the other condition of my childhood that I have never yet overcome fully. Or is it fear of people? No, I can deal with people. Isolation is comfortable to a point. Then I need people around, but I need to be able to be alone among people.
But what do I know?