Sunday, January 25, 2015

What does Abstinence Taste Like?

Warning! DIY Program, consciousness string.

What does Abstinence Taste Like?

Mary Pickford ate flowers. She thought they made her beautiful. Or so the song says. This is not a rose though.

Anyone who has had abstinence, and lost it, and regained it knows. It is sweet, but fragile, unpredictable, and easily lost. It would be nice to say that I know how to get it back, but I am not sure, and unwilling to test the process.

Recovery may be as little as realizing a maladaptive belief and removing that one belief, or it may be many years of the program. It may be one meeting away, or a thousand. It is an active process, what ever that process may be. My mission has become to learn enough to recover, and to that end, I read and study other things beyond program.

I was raised in a environment that caused me to be anxious, and as a result, I remained anxious most of my life, without even realizing that. Anxious feelings block satiation signaling. Once I recognized this, and let go of the anxiety, easy abstinence returned for another 24. How about that?


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