What does Abstinence Taste Like?
Mary Pickford ate flowers. She thought they made her beautiful. Or so the song says. This is not a rose though.
Anyone who has had abstinence, and lost it, and regained it knows. It is sweet, but fragile, unpredictable, and easily lost. It would be nice to say that I know how to get it back, but I am not sure, and unwilling to test the process.
Recovery may be as little as realizing a maladaptive belief and removing that one belief, or it may be many years of the program. It may be one meeting away, or a thousand. It is an active process, what ever that process may be. My mission has become to learn enough to recover, and to that end, I read and study other things beyond program.
I was raised in a environment that caused me to be anxious, and as a result, I remained anxious most of my life, without even realizing that. Anxious feelings block satiation signaling. Once I recognized this, and let go of the anxiety, easy abstinence returned for another 24. How about that?
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