Friday, December 13, 2013

Sponsorship 2

The purpose of sponsorship is to help us through the program. This requires that we pass through a series of attitudes. First, we need to accept that willpower is not the solution to our problem. It may be part. As Harold said, "if we pray for potatoes, we must be willing to pick up the hoe." but more the other way; We must not will ourselves to eat, for any reason. We need to recognise that our life is not manageable by us, indeed, my unmanageable life likely lead to my overeating.

Second, we need to have a form of god concept, where god is real to us, as real as the table on which this computer sits. Subservient to that, I need to let go of my ego, surrender to following god's will for me, and develop some humility. The organism must adapt to it's environment, not just adapt it's environment. There are many things that I do not know how to deal with, and until I learn a method for each of those, I must accept surrender.

God is the sum of the forces that act in the world, and on me. This includes internal biological forces. It is those internal biological forces that drive me to eat, and these must be ignored. That is the problem, the forces are always there. Some are internally generated and it is these internally generated forces that we have some influence over, and some influence over my behaviours. It is the not answering the craving/ desire to eat behaviour that is required.

The cravings are generally present. That is much of my problem. Some people say the cravings go away. I say, not my experience. Some of the craving is physical, and these I definitely need to avoid, hence my low carb diet. It is likely hyperinsulinemia / insulin overshot / insulin resistance / one of those insulin issues, but the doctor does not want to do the insulin level test because "then what do we do?" Dumb asshole. Oh well.

One of the drivers to food is stress / anxiety / emotional issues / all similar. Now I know that other people think differently, and understanding how other think could provide a method of removing / eliminating those issues. The old stoics have been useful for many idea, and much is no longer a problem. "Who's problem is it?" also helps. Knowing that I must adapt to the environment also helps. Acceptance is the final or first alternative, but acceptance is a coping method, not a solution.

More to come

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