Wednesday, December 11, 2013


What do I need from a sponsor? It is my "expectations" that I need to look at first.

This reminds me of a question from Kelsi's OA phone outreach script....   Do you want feedback or do you just want me to listen?

First the just listen part; I can write whatever in one of my blogs, that way it has been said, and someone may or could read it. Next, that also serves my heritage method of keeping my own council; no one ever comments much. Writing and editing gets rid of much garbage and sorts it out in my mind. That alone helps. This requires no sponsor involvement.

Now the feedback part: I cannot expect anything but "program", although other stuff may come. It is the "expect" that is the operative word here. Sponsors are just people who have overcome this problem, similar to the one I have. It may not even be the same problem. OA is "just" a management of the chronic problem method, it is not a real solution.

Compulsion, obsession, food addiction, binge eating, food addiction, hyperinsulinemia, emotion stress refeeding, conditioned hypereating, lack of food knowledge, lack of satiation response, lack of leptin or leptin blocking, etc. are all those defined terms that have solutions or requirements. Some day, there may be a real solution for the remainder of my problem. Yes, I do over analysis, but some of the solution is physical.

Now the main problem I have here is that my memory is going, not what it once was, oh well. So when I write and do what editing that I can, many things become more obvious. That forces searching my memory for answers first. I was trained to look up the answers in books. Many years of engineering, where all the historical methods can still be used when no modern methods are available has taught me a few things. OA, AA has many books, as does Hazelden, Smart, and the internet, any of which can provide a possible solutions. I was raised to be self-sufficient. That is my process, research then ask a sponsor.

There are those who's "process" or first reaction is to talk to a sponsor, I am not saying they are wrong, but that is not my way. I also note that my belief system does not require others to believe as I do.

I have developed a belief in a god definition that meets all the requirements and must be true. Most of the time, I have a concept of god's will for me. So what is my problem? Next post...

1 comment:

Andi said...

Not sure how exactly, but I was thinking about this post and what the rest of life has to offer. I realize the sickness, but when I fast forward years into a fully abstinent life, it's hard to imagine a successful life without the foods I love in it. It's hard to remember what it's like to be abstinent, and what I thought about as part of my daily routine.

Are these posts triggering? If so, I will refrain.