For me, step one looks backwards, some of the time. My life was unmanageable by me, and eating gave me relief. I made a conscious decision, at the suggestion of my parents that if I ate, I would grow and not be picked on. But I took it to far, and that did not help. The reason I was being picked on by the other kids was because my parents were frugal eccentrics, not just poor, and would not buy us kids decent close, but rather mother dressed me in her sowing, which were not that great. It was not until I refused to go to school that father bought me close. We can deal with harassment in a number of ways. One way is avoiding contact. By then, I was grossly obese, and remained that way, likely due to the insulin/leptin effects.
That experience was a "defining moment", more like several years, that had a major impact on shaping my life, and shaped my personality. I did not associate with anyone more than necessary. That trained me to be "low human contact need". I did not need friends, and was better by my self than with others. Mind you, by grade three, I was an attacker, so nobody wanted to be around me anyway. That did not mellow out much until I read "How to win friends and influence others" when I was 19 or so.
Now that I understand the overfeed / insulin / leptin issue, the physical part of the overeating problem, and take the appropriate measures, as much as I can, it is possible to see the personality issues. These likely developed as defence. That is why it is so critical to give up overeating before the program can really work. But coming to have a concept of god is the next step. Once we have a concept of god, or in my case a definition of god (ignostic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignosticism), we have something to lever off to obtain more motivation. We humans try to do right, and to follow the "will of natural laws" is going with the flow. Then we need to clean up the past and fix up old relationships that need to be fixed, and continue this into the future.
So you frugal minimalists, eccentrics, religious freaks, control freaks, fear mongers, irrationals, and the like, what effect is your life style having on your children? I survived (gratitude for), but how well? Some do not survive. Oh, well.
But what do I know? Be well, eat real food, breath deeply, smile easily, and enjoy what life has to offer.